"What does Santa drink? Whenhe's at home with the elves and his reindeer, I imagine he doseshimself with koshkenkorva..." "What does Santa drink? Whenhe's at home with the elves and his reindeer, I imagine he doseshimself with koshkenkorva..."
This was the opening line of my article about Whisky forChristmas in the November 1995 issue of Decanter. But Ithink it is a lie.
Koshkenkorva is a kind of schnapps made in Lapland - Idiscovered this from a lady in the Finnish Embassy - but it is mybelief that Santa favours reindeer urine. This may seem shockingto you, gentle reader. Let me explain.
In the dim past I was told, on good authority, that Samiskshamen [the Same are the original Lapp tribes] drank the urine ofreindeer which had eaten the hallucinogenic mushroom Amanitamuscaria - Fly Agaric; the red and white spotted fungi we find inour own autumn woods. Metabolisation removed the toxins from themushrooms, but their halucinogenic properties remained in theurine. When shamen went 'on the piss' they meant what theysaid...
Certainly, Fly Agaric was well known in the north. It wasstuff with which the Viking shock-troops, the berserkers, workedthemselves into fearless frenzy prior to battle. It is believedthat the 300 heros of the Gododdin included it in theirbanquetting in East Lothian, prior to their ill-fated attempt tochallenge the advance of the Northumbrian Angles in about 600AD.
Even more important for my quest was the discovery thatSanta's red and white costume derives from the colour of themushrooms themselves. Seemingly, as we recognise him today, SantaClaus is a 19th century American composite of St.Nicholas (4thcentury Bishop of Myra and patron saint of Aberdeen) and theNordic Krishkringle, 'The Christmas Man' who punished naughtychildren and rewarded good ones, had his workshop at the NorthPole, drove a sleigh pulled by reindeer, climbed down chimneys (areference to entering a snowed-up igloo or hut from above) - andwore a red and white costume.
The lady I spoke to at the Finnish Embassy had never heard ofLapps drinking reindeer urine, and she had lived in Lapland fortwenty years. For a week I button-holed friends, seeking a sourcefor my perverse information. The story rang bells in the memoriesof almost everyone I spoke to, but nobody could pin down wherethey had heard it.
One friend, a botanist, wrote to the Institute for Biology andGeology in the University of Tromso. This is the reply he hadfrom Dr. Nicholas Tyler: "I have consulted Nils Isal Eira, aSame reindeer herder and author of a recent book on Samiskreindeer husbandry terminology, concerning this matter. He saidhe has never heard of Same eating/drinking reindeer urine. Hetold me that reindeer sometimes approach the LAVVO (wigwam)looking for human urine which they eat/drink, presumably for thesalts or urea it contains...He thought it intrinsically unlikelythat there can be a specific Samisk name for the urine of areindeer which has eaten a particular fungus.
"His saying this reminded me of something I read...to theeffect that reindeer eagerly sought out the urine of Shamen whohad themselves been nibbling fly agaric, presumably to enjoy theeffects of the metabolites contained therein".
So we all got it the wrong way round, did we? Rudolph enjoyingSanta's pee, not vice versa? I shall be very grateful for anylight that anyone might be able to cast upon this dark matter.
Whatever Santa might drink at home, when he is in Scotland hedrinks whisky. Don't we all, especially during the festiveperiod.
Slainte!
Charles MacLean
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